Behind Green Eyes
by Egglette
Summary: She asked me if I was alright. I just blinked back at her, laughed and said: Of course. Lies, lies, lies... Oneshot, after 'The Beast' incident. Song fic: Behind Blue Eyes.


**Just a simple oneshot. **

**Summary: She asked me if I was alright. I answered, "Of course." Lies, lies, lies... After the Beast incident.**

**No pairings, unless you want to interpret the BB and Rae talk as pairing. -shrugs- Your call.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Who, or TT!**

* * *

**F-R-E-A-K. **

"_Hmm, maybe you should call me Beast Man from now on!"_

"_We're having a moment here. Don't ruin it."_

"…_Beast Dude?"_

_She groaned, a low growling sounding in her throat. "You're such an idiot. Grow up, for once."_

The words cut into him like a knife, slicing and twisting. Her tone differed from the usual sarcastic, her voice lower and annoyed.

He said nothing else, just got up and somehow managed to get to his room.

He plopped onto his bed and reached for the radio that was hidden underneath piles and mounds of clothes. It immediately clicked onto his favorite station, a song already beginning.

_---_

_No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
And no one knows  
What it's like to be hated  
To be fated to telling only lies _

_--- _

He curled himself into a fetal position, gripping onto his ankles tightly. Rocking himself slightly, he swayed to the rhythms of the music.

Who was he? _What _was he?

And no, that wasn't a rhetorical question. He could answer it himself: a freak.

He was a pointy-eared, green-skinned, canine-toothed freak.

**F-R-E-A-K**.

He had no one; he never did. **A-L-O-N-E**.

He let them die, he led Terra to betrayal, he caused most of their accidents…

Who was he, among his teammates?

He was nothing.

He was the short one, the scrawny one, the freak.

**F-R-E-A-K**.

_---_

_And no one knows what it's like  
To be hated  
To be fated to telling only lies _

_--- _

If he hadn't pursued Terra into relationship, if someone else went after her, she wouldn't have betrayed them. Robin, Cyborg, they would've known how to stop her. They would've known what to do, and not to spit out some dry comment that just led her to hate them…to hate him.

And who could blame her? He was a freak, he was alone.

She never did like him, just all part of the plan. She wanted to take him out so he could see first hand what deception is. What pain is—_again_.

---

_But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscious seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do, and I blame you (You...you...you)_

_---_

He defied the laws of physics and nature every day. He could morph his entire body structure to any animal he'd seen. He had a monster, a beast, inside him.

And to think, even smart, witty Raven couldn't see that it wasn't a beast inside him, it was his childhood. It was a figment of his imagination, a pain he let build up.

Because he was a **F-R-E-A-K**.

He wouldn't let himself cry, he promised. He closed his shut hard, but not in time enough to stop a single tear. It flowed down his cheek and landed on his pillow without a sound, leaving a wet spot.

_---_

_No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do, and I blame you (You...you...you)_

_No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain woe  
Can show through (Through...through) _

_--- _

He couldn't do anything right, showing seriousness was a sure sign of the apocalypse, and on top of that, no one in the tower really liked him.

Robin didn't, he thought he was just a liability. Raven sure didn't, Starfire only put up with him because of her nature. Cyborg was his closest thing to a friend, and even he didn't want him all the time.

Why? Because he was a freak, that's why.

A good for nothing freak.

He gripped at his skull, tugging on the green follicles as he moaned. The thing inside him was bubbling, surfacing.

The radio continued to play, the sounds of The Who flowing through his ears. How similar, too similar, he thought.

Except for the blue eyes part, that is. His eyes were green.

They used to be blue; before the accident. Before the accident, when he wasn't a freak.

He felt his muscles tense, squinting his eyes closed with force. "No…"

Go away! He screamed in his mind, rustling in his sheets. "Please…"

_---_

_When my fist clenches, crack it open  
Before I use it and lose my cool  
When I smile, tell me some bad news  
Before I laugh and act like a fool _

_--- _

_Why do you bother to keep me in? _It taunts, pushing against its barriers hard.

_We could be great together, you and I! They don't care about you, none of them do! Let me out, and we can rule the city! No one will dare call you freak again!_

"NO!"

_Get out, get out! I don't want you, I don't want you! _

_Are you really sure about that? _

_--- _

_And If I swallow anything evil  
Put your finger down my throat  
And If I shiver, please give me a blanket  
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat _

_--- _

"Stop it, stop it!"

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. "…Beast Boy?"

He abruptly sat up, smoothing over his crinkled uniform. Crawling to the door, he let it open.

"Hi, Raven," He near whispered.

"Are you alright? I heard…yelling." She peered past him, eyes darting around the room.

"Dude, why wouldn't I be?" He laughed, not pulling up completely for the effect.

"I heard yelling…I just wanted to apologize. I was out of line and I'm sorry."

He gave her a weak smile and made to shut the door. She stuck her foot in and looked at him through her drawn hood.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She didn't mention that she'd seen the wet spot on his pillow, or that she had heard his moans and pleas, on top of the yelling.

_No. No, I'm not alright. I haven't ever been 'alright', and I never will be._

_I'm a freak, and freaks are never 'alright'._

He just smiled wide, too wide, and closed the doors with one last phrase echoing through Raven's head as she proceeded down the corridor,

"Of course."

_---_

_No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes _

_**

* * *

**_

**Mm, kind of sad. I like it. **

**We see more of Beast Boy. This was after 'the Beast' incident. **

**Not much else to say_--_enjoy, and review!**


End file.
